Lots of people refer to San Francisco as Northern California, but the real Northern California is actually about three or fours hours north of there, in the northern Sacramento Valley, where the folks aren't quite as high-tech as their brethren to the south. I know because I grew up there, and let's just say that I'm not exactly feeling homesick after seeing this video submission, above, in which Redding, Calif., makes its pitch for the Google Fiber for Communities project.

After the TechFlash team stopped laughing, we searched on YouTube and discovered that the Google Fiber submission process was quite the boon for small-town videographers leading up to yesterday's deadline. Of course, there were some amazing efforts, such as the inspirational Bellingham video that we posted yesterday. But many of the others were some mixture of cheesy, weird and downright awful.

So here they are, our choices for the Top 5 Worst Google Fiber Pitches of 2010, for your weekend entertainment.

TATTOO, SORTA: Perry Mulcrone, deputy chief information officer for Scott County, Minn., goes to Lucky Linda's Tattoo Shop to show just how committed he is to landing Google Fiber for his community -- which is interesting until you realize about halfway in that he isn't getting a real Google shamrock tattoo, just some body art, promising to get a real one only if Google picks the county. Come on, Perry, body art? How bad do you really want this thing?

FRESNO FIBER: "Let's make some noise for Google Fiber Fresno!" Another place where I spent a lot of time growing up. Performed by Fresno's own E. Rose, of course, who else would you expect? They really tapped the local star power for this one. Which means, of course that Fresno legends Blossim Hill also got in on the act.

TOPEKA BEFORE AND AFTER: Top City mixes a bit of Mayberry and the Wizard of Oz for this one. I really don't even know what to say about this.

GOOGLE-ICIOUS: Highlands Ranch, Colo., makes its pitch with the help of some of its finest local representatives: Gary Debus from the Highlands Ranch Community Association, Terry Nolan from the Highlands Ranch Metro District, and some guy in an ape suit.

GOOD CATCH: Former NFL wide receiver Ricky Proehl (who played for the Seattle Seahawks for a couple years in the 1990s) urges citizens of Greensboro, N.C., to help the city land Google -- after he gets done bragging about his stats. Suddenly it's becoming clear why they need all that extra bandwidth.

PERSUASIVE ARGUMENT: OK, we were originally only going to give you our top five, but they just keep getting better. Anderson, Indiana's own Seth Hutchison and Chris Capshaw, a.k.a. "DethFalcon," make the case for their fiber-filled community in this video: "Google, it would be dumb not to choose Anderson Indiana."

Who could say no? Guys, really, you had us at "Eye of the Tiger."

Seen any other good ones? Post links below or email techflashtips@bizjournals.com.